Bags under Brendon’s eyes bear testimony to the four years of sleepless nights he endured while fighting for his son.
A week ago, the Johannesburg High court finally granted him sole custody, declaring the mother- his former girlfriend- had been unreasonable in denying him access. Brendon’s lawyer, Graeme Greenstein, said the order was a warning to the other moms.
“The court has sent a message that the unjustified and obstructive denial of access carries consequences, the ultimate being the loss of custody”. Brendon met Carol in 1992 and moved in with her at her mother’s house in 1993.
Five years later, Carol got pregnant. But just before she gave birth, Brendon had fallout with her mother.
“I decided to move out. The troubles began five months after the baby was born, when her mother wanted me to pay for the property they were living in. It was then that she ceased all access,” he said.
Despite living only 2km from his son, who is now 6, Brendon was not allowed to visit or even phone the house.
“There were times when I would see them in the local Spar, but I could not approach him,” he said.
Brendon went to a legal adviser for help. “But he told me I had no legitimate rights”.
After reading in THE STAR about another dad’s fight for access to his child, Brendon went to see Greenstein. In February 2001, he applied for access and joint guardianship. Five days later, Carol filed an answering affidavit, refusing access and seeking the dismissal of the application.
In May, the court appointed a family advocate, who consulted both parents and interviewed the child.
A year later, Judge J Malan granted Brendon access, but within 18 months, Carol reneged on the court order.
Legal wrangling continued for two years, and then on August 13, Brendon launched an urgent application to remove his son from the mother because she had threatened to harm both herself and the child.
On August 22, both parties finally agreed that Brendon should have sole custody.
“it’s a huge burden off my shoulders. My son is settling in well,” he said.
This is a victory for other me, and a message to them not to give up.” According to the order, Carol will get to spend three hours a week with the boy.
